you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize
