Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
