I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
