Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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