I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
