I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
