Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
