how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
