Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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