sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
