I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
