Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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