you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
