are you so shy because you have an std?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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