im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We have started to decorate penises.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
