69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
