I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
