ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
