you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
