JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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