I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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