you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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