Sponge bath it is.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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