No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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