i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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