I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
