So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
