Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
