this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Never let your siblings swipe right.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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