Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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