They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize