She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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