some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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