you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
