i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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