So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
