Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just had sex on a roof
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
