Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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