The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
