Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
