Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he wants to bone in the snuggie
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
