Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
