a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
