What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
