god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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