go do what you do best...puke behind churches
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
