I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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