im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
