I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
