i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
