puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
