that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
