i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
