Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize