We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
