I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
