Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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