Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
