So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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