Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
