I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He shit in the fireplace
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
