I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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