I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
