oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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