Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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