I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
