she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
